Wednesday, November 21, 2007 Many lasts and the beginning of my reflections of my time abroad

Wednesday, November 21, 2007 Many lasts and the beginning of my reflections of my time abroad

I went to campus early to meet with Jaclyn and two of her classmates in her Latin American studies class to do an interview. They are doing a project on the perspectives of exchange students on Chilean culture and Jaclyn asked me to be one of the interviews. They asked me:

· Why I chose to come to Santiago: I wanted to go to Latin America; my options were Buenos Aires, Valparaiso, or Santiago. I wanted to live in a big city, and without friends from school (14 Tulane students went to Buenos Aires) and I was told Santiago had great universities. Basically, I wanted something unique (not Spain, not Argentina). I’d never met anyone from Chile or anyone who’d been to Chile and I didn’t know anything about it, so why not!

· What I liked about Chilean culture: close knit families, strong Catholic community, like to dance Salsa and merenguie

· What I didn’t like: that they are timid/not very outgoing, that they don’t speak Spanish, but rather Chilean and many don’t have patience with foreign speakers, PDA (Public Display of Affection) every where, chauvism (sp?), the fact that kids live with their parents until they get married and never have time to develop their individual identity (That is a very USA perspective on individual identity and I acknowledged that. Its hard to say I like that the families are close then turn around and say I don’t like that they are so close, but its two sides of the same coin. As I’ve definitely learned, not everything is black and white. There are pros and cons to every aspect of society.)

· What I like about Chile as a country: the diversity of the landscape, that everywhere is beautiful yet incredibly different

· If I would ever come back to Chile: I said only for vacation, not to live. But if I were going to live in Chile I’d want to live in the south.

· Why I wouldn’t live in Santiago: I told them it was more of a reflection of the fact that I realized I never want to live in such a huge city. I don’t like the smog, the noise, the constant closeness to millions of people, lack of free space to run around, etc.

· If I regretted coming to Chile: At first that was a tough question. I told them that after going to Buenos Aires and Mendoza in Argentina, part of me wished I’d studied there. It would have been easier to learn Spanish because I can actually understand them and they can understand me, but also that it is more diverse, better food, more culture, and really really cheap. But I’m glad I can to Chile for the challenges it provided me. If I can speak Chilean Spanish, I can speak any kind of Spanish. I can survive in a big city. I can be ok with being really (and very obviously) different. Plus the friendships I’ve formed (with my friends in the program, with my Chilean friends and with Olga) are absolutely priceless and I wouldn’t change them for anything.

· I concluded the interview by saying that overall, I’ve realized the biggest struggle for me has been the language barrier. I said it’s really hard to fully understand a culture, really get to know people and really express your true personally if you can’t handle the language perfectly. It becomes a huge barrier in everything and makes everything 1. more challenging and 2. less clear. I’ve realized that some of the things I don’t like about Chile may be because I don’t fully understand them. I’ve realized the absolute importance of language as a way to view the world and to define who you are and how you interact with others. Communication is a struggle with in monolingual relationships (of all types, not just romantic relationships) so image how difficult it would be to truly communicate if you don’t perfectly speak the same language. I lose a lot of my personality in Spanish and for that, I often find myself frustrated. But it’s not a reflection of Chile, nor Santiago, nor Chilean people, but upon myself and the universal challenge of communication.

As you can see, the interview probably helped me more that it helped them. I realized how important it is for me to truly reflect on my experiences over the last 4.5 months. I’m going home soon and I don’t want to show up with a false view of what I’ve experienced. I’m not going to say neither that Chile has been absolutely amazing nor that I didn’t like it. Its definitely somewhere in the middle. But more importantly, I’m leaving Chile with a completely different view of myself, the world, my relationships, etc. I am a completely different person and most of the changes I haven’t even realized yet.

Wow, that was deep. Back to my day, which was much less profound than it seems! After the interview I went to my last Doctrina Social class. Then I went to my last mass at the chapel on campus. Then I went to my last Education class, where I may have failed the test. It was a lot harder than I’d thought it would be, mostly just because it was really really long. Oh well, I know I passed the class, so that is all that matters!

After the test I ate lunch with Christian for the last time. We ate just the two of us like before and before I headed out I signed the two posters I’d given him for his birthday (back in September!). I made him leave so I could write him the note. But he wanted me to write in English, so I had to think really hard!

After lunch I took the metro to my last Biblia class. Ironically, I understood the professor better today than any other day all semester. It was kind of encouraging to see that I’d improved so much that I could actually understand him and I only wish I’d caught on earlier. I realized that even with the amount I learned and grew because of that class, it could have been much more if I’d understood 100% and had been able to participate more fully (i.e. talk) in class discussions. At the end of class I had to say goodbye to the friends I’d made in the class, which was the first goodbyes I’d said. While we were talking, I had my first natural “Si, po”, which is a huge sign that I’m picking up the language. (“po” is natural filler that all Chileans use. It sounds very strange if you aren’t used to it, but they say it naturally and in all types of conversations. So it was a big deal for me to use it without thinking. I got really excited and they all laughed and congratulated me! Anyway, it was sad to say goodbye and to think I will most likely never see them again.

Finally, I went to my last Poverty class. Today was our second “Round Table” discussion about our essays. We just sat around and chatted about the different things we’d observed and experienced in our respective volunteer jobs. We talked about the complexity of poverty and why it is so difficult of change the system. After class, the 8 gringos and our professor Hector (also our program director) took cabs to a restaurant called “Rincon de las Canallas” or “Scumbags Corner” (loosely translated). This was a bar/restaurant that during the dictatorship and curfew was illegally open every night. It became the meeting place for many socialists (i.e. the scumbags) who were hiding from the military police. The restaurant had (and still has) a big metal door with a peep whole and to enter you needed (and still “need”) the password. Only the owner opens the door and greets you with a huge smile and big handshake. Inside looks just like many of the restaurants in New Orleans. The walls are covered with notes from clients, signed photos of famous people, news paper clippings, subversive posters and signs, etc. I felt more “at home” in this restaurant then I had in any other place in Chile!! It was like being right back in NOLA!! During dinner the owner came and told us the well rehearsed history of the restaurant and you could tell that despite his age, he was full of energy and love for the place. It had been burnt down twice, closed by the military once, they’d all been sent to jail numerous times for “illegal selling of alcohol” and being out passed curfew. And all in the name of breaking the rules! I mean: All in the name of freedom!

We spent the evening eating, drinking, reminiscing, and occasionally watching Chile lose to Paraguay in soccer in the background. Hector bought all the drinks, which are specialties of the house. One was borbogoñia, a sweet wine mix with chiramoya (a sweet, white fruit). The other was the infamous Terremotto (earthquake in Spanish). A Terremotto is white wine with ferrnet (a bitter Argentinean liquor), strawberries (or pineapple), and pineapple ice cream on top. The combination is incredibly sweet and delicious and deceiving dangerous. Every Chilean has a hilarious story about “a friend” who got smashed off of terrremottos because you don’t realize home much you are drinking. Luckily there were a lot of us and we were there for over 3 hours. Plus we ordered a dinner for 4 which fed all nine of us. (That tells you something). It was a HUGE, delicious platter of all kinds of meat and the perfect meal to accompany the evening.

When Chile lost 3-0, all the drinks were gone, then finally after-dinner aperativos on the house, we all realized that it was a Wednesday night, we headed out. We walked to Alameda (the main avenue that runs right by the apartment) and since we were only about 4 blocks away, I walked home. Olga laughed when I told her where we’d been but said she was sure we’d had a good time. I immediately went to bed since I had to wake up at 6:30 am to go volunteer at the high school for the last time.